Oh, hello?
Hey.
Yeah. No, no. This is Julius.
Yeah, listen, can I -- can I call you back?
I-I'm just stepping in to work.
Okay. All right.
Oh, man, it's not even a flat screen.
Come on!
This is a 1994...
Oh, oh! Oh, whoa!
Unbelievable.
♪ whoa! ♪
Aah! Ow!
Oh, uh, lieutenant Ruiz!
Can I speak with you for a moment?
Detective Bailey. What can I do for you today?
It's about my current job situation.
What about it?
I know that I've made mistakes.
I know that I have rubbed some people the wrong way.
You corrected the Captain's grammar --
In front of the chief.
And I regret that. Good.
It's just that there's no such thing
As a "statue" of limitations.
Okay, let me just give you a little piece of career advice.
What you did right there? Don't do that.
Okay. Okay.
Here's the thing.
Working property crimes with Dan Stark has been...
Educational.
It's just, I feel that my services
Would be better used in another department,
Like homicide, for example.
homicide. Right.
I-I have been going over cold cases.
I-I got a stabbing here from 2002.
I mean, look at this.
It looks like it was done by a 3rd grader.
Yeah, you see this signature right here,
This -- this scribble? Mm-hmm.
That's my name, Detective.
I guess I better go pick up Stark.
Good idea.
♪ breakin' rocks in the hot sun ♪
♪ I fought the law and the law won ♪
♪ I needed money 'cause I had none ♪
♪ I fought the law and the law won ♪
♪ I left my baby and it feels so bad ♪
♪ I guess my race is run ♪
♪ she's the best girl that I ever had ♪
♪ I fought the law and the law won ♪
Whew!
Didn't think I'd make it through that shower.
Guess what I found in the conditioner bottle?
I can't imagine.
Peppermint schnapps.
Got to plan ahead.
What's that, a case?
Sort of.
Let's roll.
Hello, ma'am.
I'm Detective Bailey. This is Detective Stark.
About the robbery.
Well, come on in.
so, what do we got?
I think someone tried to steal my TV.
And it looks like they dropped it
And then ran out the back door.
The only item missing from your home
Was an ez-steam humidifier, correct?
Yeah. I'm actually surprised you came.
Are you guys, like, small-crimes investigators...
No. No.
We, uh, we work the code 58's,
The routine investigations.
Oh. I'm sorry.
It's kind of driving me crazy.
Do I know you from somewhere?
Could be. Name's Detective Stark.
You saved the governor's son,
Back in '85?
Yeah! Guilty.
Yep, me and my ex-partner, Frank savage.
They made a TV movie about it -- "savage and... " "...Stark." ye.
Why don't you go look for some evidence?
I'm gonna... Interview the victim.
Is there someplace private we can go?
I find it's good to be relaxed
When you're remembering details of a crime.
Yeah, come on.
Hey, there.
Did you find anything?
Yeah.
Just some blood and hair samples...
Two fingerprints,
And a back issue of a quilting magazine.
Ma'am, will you please sign this? Um, yeah.
You've got our phone number,
So if you remember anything, please don't hesitate to call.
We will...Send out another minor celebrity
For you to sleep with.
Are you sure you have to go?
I'm thinking, maybe you want to hang out
And do a little more "investigating."
Hmm. Later, darlin'.
Ooh!
I got to go fight the bad guys.
♪ oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh ♪
You know, it's not a good idea to get too involved
With a robbery victim during an investigation --
Or sleep with them, for that matter. Hey.
It pleasured us both, plus it jogged her memory.
She remembered seeing a guy
Lurking around the neighborhood a couple of days ago.
I was able to get a... A rough sketch out of her.
Oh, Dan, that is a stick figure. Yeah, it's rough.
Hey, we're lucky we got this much to go on.
I ever tell you the story -- when was it? --
Back in '85, me and Frank,
We get a call about a stolen car...
But it turns out it's Laotians smuggling heroin
In the engine blocks of sports cars.
Yeah, you told me.
Hey, I'm just saying, college boy,
There's a bigger picture here.
You see, crime is like a sweater.
You pull one thread, it's all connected.
Sure, maybe this is just a stolen hudimidifinder,
Or maybe by the time this is over,
We're gonna be dealing with a major crime.
"dear Romero,
"for five years, I have been your courier,
"delivering cocaine to your buyers in Dallas.
Always I stay in budget motels to save you money."
"because you are too cheap to pay for a mid-size sedan,
"I rent a crappy subcompact car with roll-down windows
And no GPS."
"I sell your drugs for you, and you call me your chihuahua
"and pay me less than your pool boy.
"but no more.
"I'm taking your $4 million, you son of a whore.
"by the time you get this letter,
"I will be gone.
You will never see my face again."
I wish to look like Erik Estrada.
Uh, well, you'll...
Look much more like Mr. Estrada than you do now.
Good, because if you fail,
Your last hours on earth will be spent begging for death.
Oh, God! Oh, God!
What is wrong with señor Escalante?
It's probably just a loose connection on the heart monitor.
Put the gun down!
Fix him -- now.
I am trying to perform surgery here!
Just... Aah!
Unh!
Oh, God. Oh, God. Oh, no.
are yoous, Jack?
You want me to pressure the forensics office
Into getting you lab work on a stolen
Humidifier? Yeah.
Now, why would I use my considerable superpowers
For something like that?
Because I'm irresistibly charming.
well, that is true,
But I'm gonna need something much better than that.
Because I need a conviction,
Or I'm gonna be stuck on Dan Stark babysitting duty --
Forever.
Now, you know you pissed off
Damn near everyone in the department.
There's no way one conviction's gonna change that.
Okay, then how about an anniversary gift?
Last week would have been our anniversary.
If we were still together.
Yes, right, if we were still together.
So you want lab work
To celebrate the anniversary of a relationship
That ended a year ago.
Yes.
You aren't gonna give up till you get it, are you?
That's what I thought.
How about I give you that lab work, then,
And you can get out of my office?
Pretty please.
Happy non-anniversary.
Hey! Julius!
Thanks. Thanks for coming. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
So you think you can take care of this?
Oh, yeah, yeah. Dump the car in Mexico.
That shouldn't be too complicated.
It's an insurance thing like last time?
No, no, it's -- I just -- I need it gone --
Totally gone -- forever...Gone.
I'll...Give you 10. 10 grand.
And this golf bag.
Huh?
No, no, no, no, no. We got a deal.
Good. All right.
Yeah.
Hey.
Results from the crime lab.
Looks like we got a lead on the humidifier thing.
The crime lab. How'd you get that?
Those guys don't even return my calls.
I talked to Liz Traynor down the D.A.'s office. Liz.
The sexy one. Ex-girlfriend, huh?
Going on, can we just focus on the lab results, please?
Yeah, lab results.
I'm not sure I believe
That there's little things in your blood
Floating around carrying this so-called, you know, DNA.
You don't believe in blood cells.
I'm just saying the jury's out.
Julius Grant.
That's him.
That is the guy Eileen described.
Told you I'd find him.
you didn't find him.
You gave me Vaseline-stained notes.
Yeah, put you on the 5-yard-line.
I let you put it in the end zone.
It's called teamwork.
Okay, Julius Grant works at a thrift store downtown.
There's Julius Grant.
Why the hell does he have a green golf bag?
I don't know. Maybe he plays.
According to the precinct system computer,
He's been arrested five times for burglary.
What do you want to bet the humidifier's
Right there in the pawn shop?
Computers.
I can't get used to 'em.
Aren't you worried they're gonna, you know,
Turn on you?
I'm not particularly worried
My computer's going to attack me, no.
Sometimes I just -- I look at the one in the office.
It's like it's thinking, you know, making plans.
Well, until it decides to rise up and overthrow humanity,
It's a pretty good tool for police work.
Yeah, I...I don't know.
There's some things computers can't do.
Did I ever tell you about the time
Frank and me found 5,000 quaaludes --
In a sock monkey? Yeah, you did.
Well, the point is, we didn't need a computer.
We had a hunch!
Just started cutting open sock monkeys.
Well, that's great. You know, if you see any sock monkeys in there,
Feel free to knife one for me, okay?
No, you're missing the point.
There is a larger picture that you can't see --
No, no, no, no! Stop, stop!
All right, there is no big picture!
Okay?
There are no major criminals. There are no quaaludes.
It's just a thrift store and a stolen humidifier!
Who the hell is that guy?
Pedro. Thank you for coming.
For years, my cousin Escalante...
Has taken deliveries to the U.S.
He puts the cocaine in a golf bag
And returns with the cash.
But yesterday, he was not on the flight from Dallas.
And I hear all my buyers are dead.
Fortunately, my cousin has the brain of a tomato.
My men found this in his villa.
He hopes to disappear with a new face.
Why don't you send your own men for him?
My men can't find a chicken in the yard.
Yeah, I'm talking about you!
But you...
You have CIA training.
You are the second best assassin in the world!
Yes. That is what they say.
Second best.
You can do...The thing...
...With the gun.
I can do the thing.
Do the thing for me. I don't know.
No, no, please. I do not feel like it.
No, no, come on, do it. Hey, you! Throw him the pistol!
Go to the U.S.,
Find Escalante...
And my golf bag.
Show us all why you are the second best.
♪ I believe in miracles ♪
♪ where are you from ♪
♪ you sexy thing? ♪
Excuse me, Dr. Kalfuss.
How did you get in here? Who...
My name is Pedro.
Where is Escalante?
Where is the golf bag?
I have an automatic security system.
The police are already...
Mr. Escalante...
He's dead. I think it was a drug reaction.
I paid a guy to dump the body, the golf bag, all of it.
The guy's name is -- is Julius Grant.
Please don't kill me.
Tell me where this Julius Grant is.
Hey, man. I got a sale going on.
Buenos días.
Por favor.
Give me that golf bag.
Oh, you speak Spanish, huh?
Hey, I'm learnin', man.
Uh...Este bolsa De golf.
You do not want that golf bag, man.
It's locked.
I've been trying to open it all day.
That bag belongs to my employer.
Good luck with your Spanish.
Your grammar is adequate.
But your accent, like my English,
Needs work.
I will take the bag...
Now.
Hmm. Yeah.
That's not how it works.
Okay?
Please.
I do not wish to kill you.
Oh, kill me.
It's just a thrift store and a stolen humidifier!
What the hell is going on?!
Aah! Why are you asking me?!
hey!
Where are you going?!
I'm going in! Just cover me!
Are you serious?!
You drank a quarter bourbon in the car!
It was a fifth!
♪ waa-ooh! ♪
♪ come on, honey, you know what to do, yeah ♪
♪ everybody knows one or two like you, yeah ♪
♪ if you wanna fall in love or just mess around ♪
♪ sure enough, honey, couldn't bring me down ♪
♪ yeah ♪
♪ nobody does it like she does ♪
The hudimidifinder.
♪ I can't seem to get away from you, girl ♪
I'm calling for backup.
Tell 'em I said hi.
♪ just 1, 2, or 2, 3, 4 ♪
♪ nobody does it like she does ♪
I'm gonna have to ask you to pull over!
You're a brave man! I do not want to kill you!
Stop it!
♪ nobody does it like she does ♪
Yo, man, what the hell did you get me into, man?
Whose golf bag is this?
Oh, Julius. Thank God.
Please. I'll give you anything.
Mr. Julius.
I was hoping you would call.
¿cómo estás? ¿cómo estás?
Yo soy enojado, man.
Yo soy enojado!
You're angry.
The verb "ser" is an identifier.
"estoy" refers to state of being.
You mean to say...
Yo estoy enojado.
Give me the golf bag.
Or -- or what? Or what?
You gonna shoot a bunch of bullets around me again?
Do not be mistaken.
I did not come here to kill you.
Had I wished to kill you, you would be dead.
Give me the golf bag, Julius.
You will not be spared a second time.
Okay.
I'll tell you what. I'll tell you what.
You -- you meet me where and when I say,
And we negotiate a finder's fee.
Fine. Where? Uh, strip joint.
It's called sage hen's ranch. It's up by quanah.
5:00 P.M. On Thursday.
I will see you then.
So you exchanged fire,
Then called for backup after the firefight.
Stark jumped on the hood of the suspect's car?
Yeah, it's called a start.
Now we need some of those fancy costumes
The SWAT guys have.
I think what Dan means is, some, uh,
Department resources would help.
Yeah, you know what? I'll take it from here.
This may have started with a property crime,
But it's an attempted homicide now.
What the he--
You're gonna take this away from us
After everything I've done for you?
This isn't personal. Oh, come on!
Don't start. You know what I think this is?
I think you're still ticked off
About the time you and me blew up the taco truck!
Don't you ever bring up that taco truck again!
Do you understand me? Yes, sir! Ma'am.
What was that about back there?
About all you did for the lieutenant.
Me and Ana used to be partners,
Till she dumped me the first chance she got.
Just like Gellar, D'Antonio, and all the rest.
It's not like the old days.
In the old days,
Frank and I would be down at that pawn shop right now!
Yeah, I know, Dan, but we got thrown off the case.
That means we're doing a good job!
Look, I know you think you're -- you're just babysitting me,
But a real cop -- a good cop --
Does not walk away from a case like this.
Oh, so a real cop just risks his entire career
For a $45 small appliance?
There are no small crimes. There are only small cops.
Put that in your computer circuit.
Look, you want to get rid of me?
You want to work on your career?
Grow a pair.
Crack some cases.
All right, then.
So, what do you propose?
That we stay on the hudimidifinder case.
Well, our only lead, Julius Grant,
Now belongs to lieutenant Ruiz.
I got a plan.
Ohh, God.
Ohh.
So, this is your plan?
You go to Ruiz' crime scene and start eating cottage cheese?
That's right.
You know, there's fuzz on that.
Where did you get that?
The back of the fridge at the station.
I know what I'm doing.
All right?
Okay.
Now, we go in, I do my thing,
You get everyone out of there.
Wait, your thing. Wh-what is your thing?
You'll know.
No sign of the suspect.
Julius Grant looks like he left in a hurry.
Hey, there, lieutenant.
If memory serves,
I pulled you two off this case this morning.
Have you been drinking, Detective Stark?
it's for the nightmares.
Since the shooting,
Every night, I'm -- I'm -- I'm having the flashbacks.
It happened yesterday, Dan.
Yeah, it's some kind of post-traumatic-stress thing.
I can't take a leak without screaming.
Last night...
I put a pistol in my...
My mouth.
I almost blew my molars through the back of my head.
Ohh, God!
If you're trying to repair your reputation
With the department,
Letting your partner vomit
All over the crime scene is not a good start.
I-I'm gonna clean him up.
Yes, you will. Okay.
Uh, how about you take everybody outside
And get some fresh air?
Huh? Sorry.
What the hell was that?
Ohh!
Never heard of good cop, sick cop?
No.
You're the good cop.
I cleared the crime scene for you,
But you got to look for some evidence.
Evidence. Yeah. Yeah, okay.
All right, back inside, everyone.
Hey. Hey.
Find anything?
Yeah, a scrap of paper in the trash
Had a phone number and a meeting time on it.
Could be a good lead. Nice.
Let's hit the street,
See if anyone recognizes the number.
Or I could just put the number into the district computer.
It'd be a whole lot quicker
Than asking random people on the street.
Good call.
Hang on. I got to -- I got to puke one more time.
This the address your computer machine gave us?
Yeah. The house is owned by a Dr. Brad kalfuss.
Plastic surgeon, works out of highland park.
Door's open.
What do you say we go in, take a peek?
The only thing we'd take a peek at is inadmissible in court.
I just want to be sure.
Y-you think the lawyers will be cool
If we go in there now?
You don't know who's in there!
I have an idea!
♪ friends say it's fine, friends say it's good ♪
♪ everybody says it's just like Robin hood ♪
Clear!
♪ I move like a cat, talk like a rat ♪
He's empty.
We got to get in there before he reloads.
You counted?
Ohh!
Get him.
Not even one.
Not as easy as it looks.
♪ friends say it's fine, friends say it's good ♪
♪ everybody says it's just like Robin hood ♪
Aah! You are...Alive!
Wha...
Where is he?
he just left.
Do you want a pop?
***
Left me tied up on the table and waited.
Just sat there with his gun.
Any idea what was in that golf bag?
Oh, God knows what criminals keep in their golf bags.
I'm a plastic surgeon.
What do I know about -- you're a plastic surgeon?
Can you do anything in the chestal...
Area? I was thinking about...
For Eileen.
There's this poor girl.
She had her humidifinder stolen.
I was thinking it might be nice --
Okay, back to the attempted homicide.
Do you have any idea
Where Julius Grant might be meeting this Pedro?
He checked for directions on my computer.
Just...Shoot him for me, okay?
This guy's a cold-blooded killer.
Dr. Franklin,
Please meet your party in the baggage-claim area
Located on the lower level.
Dr. Franklin, meet your party in the baggage-claim area
Located on the lower level.
Pedro.
Don Romero.
You know the best assassin in the world?
He was at a film festival, but now he's available.
We have met. So, what's the plan?
The man who has the golf bag is going to a stripping club.
We will meet him there and get the bag.
That's a good plan.
I just want to know your professional opinion
As a district attorney.
Legally, the fact that you are not officially
Assigned a case should not hamper prosecution,
Assuming all else is in order.
But if you want my nonlegal opinion,
And I'm sure you do,
Don't get involved in a case you're not assigned to.
If you fail, you'll look stupid.
And if you succeed, you make everybody else look stupid.
I believe the legal concept here is "pissing into the wind."
Yeah. All right. Uh, thanks.
I-I'll call you later. Okay? Bye.
I don't get it.
You used to go out with this girl,
You're still friends,
Even though she's already hooked up with some rich guy?
We need all the friends we can get
With all the rules we're breaking.
Being a cop is not about rules.
It's about people.
It's about being able to say to Eileen,
"hey, we caught the punk who stole your hudimidifinder."
listen, Dan --
Oh, my God. Look at that beauty.
♪ stroke me, stroke me ♪
♪ you got your number down ♪
♪ stroke me, stroke me ♪
Frank and me used to have one of those.
I'll bet we could get a pretty good price on that.
Yeah, I-I-I-- okay.
We are not buying a car tonight, Dan. It's mint.
We're not buying a car.
We're a mile away,
So let's just get into our car...
And go.
♪ put your left foot out ♪
That car rocks!
♪ work your way right into my case ♪
It's very simple, okay?
You bring the guys for security,
I do my deal, 5 grand.
You want a whole biker gang to watch your back for 5 grand?
Yeah.
What about the cops?
Man, you know, the cops come,
Then we just kind of renegotiate, that's all.
Yeah, I'm saying
What about those cops just walked in the door?
Freeze, you son of a...
♪ stroke ♪
♪ stroke me, stroke me ♪
♪ you're so together, boy ♪
Yeah! All right!
Where did you learn that fancy kung-fu crap?
Police training academy.
Oh. Guess I should have paid attention.
You got a V.I.P. room?!
We got to open a golf bag!
Well, lookie there.
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh!
There's millions here.
Damn, I was gonna sell that for 100 grand.
Sell it to who?
I don't know. This dude just shows up.
He corrects my Spanish, then he tries to shoot me.
All I know is that bag belongs to a dead man.
He's in the trunk of a car that I dumped in Mexico.
He's gone. He ain't never coming back.
Yeah!
Yes. I need revenge!
Revenge!!
What the hell were you thinking,
Letting Dan Stark pursue this case?
Lieutenant, we recovered $4 million in drug money.
Now, it was messy, but we did it.
Now, I never thought I'd say this,
But Dan's right about some things.
He is still in the department.
He's in the department
Because he saved the governor's son 25 years ago.
I guess I'm just saying that ever since he and Frank --
Oh, "frank." do you --
Do you know what happened to Frank savage?
Do you ever wonder why he's not in the department anymore?
I heard it was a nervous condition.
Dan got him to jump out of the window of a moving car
When they went after the governor's son.
He had a nervous breakdown!
Teaches art at a special-ed school now.
Look...
There is a reason we don't do things Dan's way anymore.
Don't let him suck you in.
You want to stay on the case? Fine, but Dan goes home.
Now, where is he?
Uh, he's interviewing a stripper.
Uh, I'll talk to him.
So you call me out of the blue and offer me a free boob job?
It was Detective Stark's idea.
He -- he wanted it to be a surprise.
It was Dan?
Really?
That is so sweet!
yeah.
You think you can kill me?! Aah!
Yes?! Kill me and steal my money?!
You -- you don't understand!
Understand?!
No.
Where is my golf bag?
It's in the car!
I paid a guy named Julius to dump it.
The cops are after him.
You can follow them. I can tell you where they went.
You can take her as a hostage!
What?! No! Yes. Yeah. Yeah!
She's the girlfriend of one of the cops!
Please! Take her!
Get your golf bag!
And then I'll fix your face, okay?
I swear.
You'll look just like Erik Estrada.
I promise you.
Ponch.
Take her.
Oh! Oh! Move!
I was hoping I'd get a call from Eileen,
See what she thought about my present.
Supposed to call the doctor today.
Uh, Dan, um...
I talked to the lieutenant,
And she wants you off the case.
What? No, for real this time.
Jack, being a cop is like riding a horse.
You get knocked off, you get right back on.
Not us, Dan. You.
I'm still on it.
Son of a bitch.
There wouldn't even be a case
If I hadn't dragged you back here kicking and screaming.
So -- so you know about rules of evidence
And how to work a computer machine.
I was busting punks when you were in first grade.
This is the biggest case of my career!
You know, back in the day,
We didn't worry about our career,
We worried about our partners!
Frank would have never --
Oh, God, Frank had a nervous breakdown
Because you convinced him
To jump out of the window of a moving car!
I'm gonna take the other bedroom,
With the cable TV.
You two can have this bed.
It will be the assassins' bed.
I'm fine with the chair.
Pedro...
How will you do the thing with the gun
If you do not get your sleep?
Hmm?
You have to be ready,
Because tomorrow, if I do not get my golf bag,
I will have the best assassin kill your sons,
Esteban and baby Felipe.
I like to give clear incentives to my employees.
Do I-I have to wear this?
I mean, it's a kitten sweatshirt.
Yeah, well, it's the only thing big enough
To hide a bulletproof vest.
Okay, so, we've been over this.
Okay, now, you just do the deal.
All right, now, we will be watching and listening back here
On the wire.
If there is any trouble...
Ho, trouble?
Like, what, like me getting my ass shot off?
That kind of trouble?
Well, that's what the vest is for.
If there's any trouble, we'll move in.
What? You know what? Where's the other cop?
'cause I'd like a second opinion.
Uh, yeah, he's not a...
He's not around.
Brother, can I get a...
A fifth of something strong and sweet?
Boy, you wake up one morning,
It's nothing but lasers and robots...
And people shaving where their hair used to grow free.
Yeah.
That'll be $18.75.
Well, all I got's $17.
How about, uh...
Son of a bitch!
Eileen!
Hey!
Buenos días! ¿cómo estás?
Your Spanish is coming along well.
This is my employer. The bag you have belongs to him.
That's Pedro.
I do not know who these two are.
Right. Right. So, my finder's fee.
Dinero para me.
you want your money.
I do. I do.
I was thinking like 100k maybe?
Shots fired. Go! Go! Right.
I have two assassins here,
And I am the one who does the shooting.
Drop your weapons!
Escalante?
Romero?
Told you I was gonna get shot.
Yeah, I'm sorry about that!
That's Dan's girlfriend. Cover me.
Do not give the suspect your weapon!
He's the only one here!
If you want to fire me, lieutenant, go ahead!
Who's the chihuahua now, huh?!
Who's the chihuahua now?!
Please?
Let me save her.
She has nothing to do with this.
Damn it!
Need a lift?
Dan!
Go! Go!
♪ thunder ♪
♪ ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ♪
♪ thunder ♪
♪ ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ♪
♪ thunder ♪
It's on now.
See, see, I-I-I read about this kind of thing.
It's like a -- it's like a samurai
In ancient Japan.
See, a killing machine got a whole different mind-set.
♪ thunder ♪
♪ I was caught ♪
♪ in the middle of a railroad track ♪
♪ thunder ♪
♪ and I knew ♪ come on, baby!
♪ there was no turning back ♪
♪ thunder ♪
♪ my mind raced ♪
♪ and I thought what could I do ♪
♪ thunder ♪
♪ and I knew ♪
♪ there was no help, no help from you ♪
♪ thunder ♪
♪ sound of the drums ♪
You see that? You see how my man mirrors the moves
So the dude with the ponytail don't get the drop on him
With an angle.
♪ the thunder of guns ♪
♪ yeah ♪
♪ you've been ♪
♪ thunderstruck ♪
No, no, no.
♪ went down the highway ♪
♪ broke the limit ♪
♪ we hit the town ♪
♪ went through to Texas ♪
♪ yeah, Texas ♪
♪ and we had some fun ♪
♪ we met some girls ♪
♪ some dancers who gave a good time ♪
♪ broke all the rules, played all the fools ♪
How long can they stay that way?
Hours.
Days, maybe.
I mean, they just --
They're waiting for that tiniest advantage,
And then this whole thing,
It'll be over just like that.
♪ thunderstruck ♪
♪ yeah, yeah, yeah, thunderstruck ♪
♪ ooh, thunderstruck ♪
I wish to go home.
♪ yeah ♪
♪ I was shakin'... ♪
The woman dies with me!
He's gonna kill her
Before we can get him off the road unless...
Jack!
It's okay. It's okay! It's okay.
Let me get closer. Get as close as you can!
♪ we're doing fine ♪
Be careful, Jack!
♪ yeah, it's all right ♪
♪ thunderstruck ♪
♪ yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm thunderstruck ♪
♪ thunderstruck ♪
♪ yea-a-a-a-a-h ♪
All clear!
All clear.
Oh, Dan!
Dan. It's all right. It's all right.
Nice work, partner.
You're learnin'.
Yeah, I don't want to do that ever again.
You came for me.
Of course we did.
Well, I hope it doesn't come as a surprise to you guys
That it complicates things considerably in my life
When three suspects are shot, one suspect is run over,
And there's over a million dollars in property damage,
All for one arrest.
It was a hell of an arrest, though.
Yeah.
Javier Escalante is testifying against the cartel.
Pedro, however, he's gonna be released.
Because he's got a deal with the CIA.
And your humidifier thief?
Mr. Julius Grant -- oh, he's free and clear.
You know why?
'cause you violated over 30...
30 procedural rules.
And that's a record.
Oh, it's all right. He's better off as a snitch anyway.
So what happens now? We get a medal? What? A medal?
The FBI and the d.E.A. Both called to scream at me.
Your reward is keeping your job.
Will we be reassigned?
'cause, I mean, I would understand --
No. No, I think it's best
If you stay on routine investigations...
For the foreseeable future.
Jack.
Uh...
Completely, totally, and unofficially off the record...
That was some good work.
Figure we go down and talk to Julius.
See if he's got any leads.
Leads? What leads?
Whatever. You know, leads.
Oh, I, uh, forgot.
This came in the mail.
"I am not a man of many words,
"but I feel the need to send this to you.
"in all of my years as an assassin,
"first as the second best in in the world...
"and now as the first, I have seen much...
"but never have I encountered men such as yourselves.
"I have returned to my country,
"where I will tell my children
"of the bravery and honor of the two American police,
"Dan and Jack.
Sincerely, Pedro."
So, you ready to go bust some punks?
Yeah.
Let's go bust some punks.
All right then.